Slowing down.

Howdy kids. How are y'all doin'? Peachy keen.

So I'm sorry I never posted information about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Tech week tends to suck the life out of the cast and crew. It was a great show, in all. I had a magnificent time with it. It went very smoothly. I can also say I've grown closer to some people, and made new friends. I miss it already, but I'm glad to have free evenings again.

I'm off of my lexapro. I've almost been off for a week. I've noticed myself being a little bit more touchy and short-fused, but I'm not down in a fucking hole like I used to be. I'm still pretty upbeat and happy, an accomplishment if I do say so myself. My friends have really helped me gain confidence. I can't go so far as to say it's completely there, but the foundations have been laid. (It helps to have people tell you you're awesome.) I think I'll be OK for now without it. I have everything I need to be happy and healthy. (See: Chris.)

School's been OK. Nothing out of the ordinary. It's funny... I wrote an essay for my English class about my religious life (or lack thereof?), and I have to give a presentation on it next class. Since when do people like my writing? Since when do people care about my religious beliefs? Well, I talked to a friend about it. She was in the group that nominated it. She said the other papers really sucked, apparently. That mine was refreshing or somesuch. Whatever makes the people happy.

Speaking of writing! If you have any poetry, short stories, or short scripts you'd like to have published, I'm working for a literary magazine on campus. We're called "The Jack". Our current theme is "there's a light in the dark", and this is open for interpretation. We're looking for written and artistic submissions. (For art, we'd prefer black and white. We're cheap.) If you're interested in submitting, or have any questions, please e-mail 20centjack@gmail.com. We're taking submissions until March 28th.

I love vacation. It makes me happy in the pants.

More later,
~*The Pie

Time moves too quickly.

"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead" go up next week. What? I'm having a hard time believing that the show goes up next week. I'm hella excited, 'cause we've all worked so hard and the show is going to look great. Next week is tech week, and the tragedians and I are going to have to work really, really hard. We'll finally get to do things on set, so a lot of basic blocking gets shifted to fit the stage. We'll finally have our prop cart, too, so we can make better usage of our time on stage. Once I get the correct times, I'll post 'em here.

Chris and I are finally getting treatment for our skin problem. I'm so happy. I don't want to have to deal with this during the show, I'll go insane. It stings a little bit, but it doesn't smell like the other stuff I had to use. I slept last night, but that was 'cause I took sleeping pills. I might have to again tonight. Aaahhhhhh I'm tired, though. I kept waking up.

We might get a hedgehog. One of my friends is selling a few, and Chris' dad said we could probably manage it. They are the cutest things! Also very easy to care for. I'm very excited about this.

LOL my supervisor did that high pitched question thing, like Stewie on Family Guy. Oh holy crap, that was hilarious.

Well, that's pretty much all that's going on. I'm hungry, but I gotta wait.

More later,
~*The Pie

Getting sick.

I think I'm getting sick.

Last night, Chris and I celebrated Dan Whitehead's 21st birthday. It was fun, but unfortunately Dan and our friend Dylan got into an accident on the way back to Dan's. Everyone's fine. Dylan was driving. A cab car t-boned 'em. The car's dinged up, but no one's hurt, so it's OK. It put a more somber mood on the evening. I don't care, so long as everyone's fine.

So we came home sometime after 1, and I was exhausted. Like, I was lucky I could still function. Chris, being the angel he is, helped me into my night clothes, got my medication, and tucked me in. He slept downstairs again so as not to wake me up when he got into bed. I slept like a log last night. Once I was out, I was out.

Unfortunately, I started work this morning at 8. Ohhh I was not a happy camper. My alarm went off, but I thought I'd sleep for another five minutes. Chris got me at 7:20. ><; Freakin' sucked. I wish I was sleeping now, but that's a distant dream. I have class at 12 until 1:40. The next thing I have to do is at 6:30. I want to sack out for a few hours, but I don't know if I can.

I'm in rehearsal 'til about 9, but I think after that I'm just going home, doing my reading for English, and going to sleep. No messing around.

This morning, Chris' mom said, "If you two get Chris' room clean, and I mean clean, I'll get a full sized mattress after I get my tax return." I stood agape. I want a full-sized bed. (I don't think we could get anything bigger.) I've bugged Chris about cleaning the room, but now I think he's going to consider it more seriously. He has so much dirty laundry up there, oh my lord. Socks and t-shirts abound. (Ha ha, I have to do laundry this weekend.)

I got 11 hours of work a week this semester. I'm pumped. I also got an automatic raise due to minimum wage going up. Hells yes!

"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern..." rehearsals are coming along swimmingly. I've been enjoying myself. The show goes up in about a month. (March 6-9.) I have a good feeling about it.

My classes are going along alright. I don't have a problem with any of my professors, so that's a good thing. The homework's been manageable. So far, nothing I can't handle. =)

I think that's everything I have to say for now. Things are good, aside from my sore throat and screwed up sinuses.

More later,
~*The Pie

My dealings with insomnia.

Last week and this week, I've been dealing with a bit of insomnia. My sleep cycle's been slightly more messed up than usual. If you know me, you know I love sleeping. Chris' family makes fun of me for always sleeping during the day. (If you were on Lexapro, you might sleep too.) Well, now I'm even more compelled to sleep during the day. I have more reason to.

I've always been a night owl. ('Cept at sleepovers, ha ha. Always the first to fall asleep.)

OK, I got hella sidetracked. Enjoy the survey!

Tell Me About Yourself
Basic
Name?:	Wendy
Also known as...:	The Pie, deathslushie
Age?:	18
Sex?:	Mmmhmmmfemale
Birthday?:	July 20th
Hair Color?:	Brown
Eye Color?:	Green with brown
Height?:	5'3"
Weight?:	Last I knew, 100 lbs.
Piercings?:	Two holes per ear.
Tattoos?:	None yet. I want some form of a chalice on my right shoulder, and a "Petit Prince" drawing on my left hip.
Body type?:	Petite.
Nationality?:	American. =/
Favorites
Color?:	Black, maroon, cobalt blue.
Number?:	42.
letter?:	None?
Food?:	Raw salmon.
Drink?:	I'm a sucker for iced tea.
Alcoholic drink?:	That fruity Smirnoff stuff.
Song?:	"Stranded" by AAF.
Band/artist?:	Currently, The Who.
Type of music?:	Rock.
Day of the week?:	Oh hell. Friday.
Month?:	Oh I dunno.
Season?:	Summer.
Vehicle?:	O_O One that works better than Chris'.
Sport?:	Hockey/baseball
Movie:	"The Rocky Horror Picture Show" or "Dr. Strangelove"
Type of movie?:	Comedy/satire
Joke?:	Two peanuts are walking down the street and one is assaulted. ("Ever hear of the polish singles dance? Flan!" Ha ha, Bil.)
Quote?:	"So before you point your fingers, Be sure your hands are clean." Bob Marley
Cloths brand?:	None.
Brand in general?:	Nintendo.
Book?:	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series.
Poem?:	Oh hell.
Flavor of gum?:	Free.
Shoes?:	My current shoes. Simple, black, classy.
Friend?:	That's not fair.
Part of your body?:	Eyes/smile/hips.
Class?:	Last semester, SOC 101
Show?:	Simpsons/Spongebob/Family Guy
Holiday?:	I like a lot of them.
Gadget?:	It'll be my new laptop when I get it.
Game System?:	Oh so not fair! I like the wii and DS, but the 360 is pretty cool too. Don't get me started on the sega genesis.
Game?:	I can't answer that!
Animal?:	Hyena.
Place?:	Chris' arms.
This or that?
Pepsi or Coke:	Cooooooooooke.
McDonalds or Burger King:	BK.
Fruit or Vegetables:	Depends.
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Depends.
Hot Tea or Ice Tea:	Depends.
Dog or Cat:	BOTH! *squeal*
Puppy or kitten:	BOTH! Oh my God.
Techno or Rap:	Techno.
Country or Jazz:	Jazz.
Rock or Punk:	Both.
Summer or Winter?:	Summer.
Scary movies or Funny movies?:	Funny.
Kiss or hug?:	Both.
Single or group dates?:	Single.
Love or money?:	Love.
Looks or personality:	Personality.
Lipton or Nestea?:	I don't care.
Nike or Jordans?:	Nike.
Have You Ever...
Kissed someone of the opposite sex?:	Yes.
Kissed someone of the same sex?:	Yes.
Gone skinny dipping?:	Yes. (Naked whirlpool, woooo!)
Smoked?:	Yes.
Drank alcohol?:	Yes.
Got drunk?:	o_O
Stolen something?:	When I was young.
Gotten arrested?:	No.
Been beaten up?:	LOL Dan Whitehead headbutted me in the fucking BACK tonight.
Beaten someone up?:	Not really.
Been sent to the hospital?:	Yes.
Embarassed yourself in front of a big crowd?:	Yes.
Had sex?:	I think we all know.
Wished to the stars?:	Probably.
Saw a shooting star?:	No.
Screamed outside really loudly?:	I don't think so. Inside, though...
Broken someone's heart?:	Yeahhh...
Gotten your heart broken by someone?:	Yes.
Been in a plane?:	Yes.
Been to another country?:	No.
(For guys) Been kicked in the nuts?:	I get hurt in the cooch, don't gimme that.
Been on TV?:	Briefly.
Fell asleep in class?:	YES.
Failed a grade?:	No.
Cried to get your way?:	Probably not.
Gone through a nervous breakdown?:	I'm pretty sure my junior year was one huge one.
Would you..
Tell a crush you like them?:	No. I'm hella shy.
Have sex before marriage?:	Yes.
Lie to a friend?:	If I absolutely had to.
Lie to a lover?:	No.
Lie to your parents?:	Am I really gonna say that? My dad reads this.
sacrifice yourself for a friend?:	Yes.
A Lover?:	Yes.
Confess a murder?:	I don't have the heart to murder in the first place.
Strip in public?:	No!
Swim in a pool while there's a thunderstorm?:	Yeah.
Go skydiving?:	No.
Go Scuba diving?:	Yes.
Cheat on your bf/gf?:	NO! Never intentionally.
In a Boy or Girl
Hair Color?:	Dark.
Eye Color?:	I've been digging on blue or green eyes lately, but Chris has brown.
Height?:	I secretly like tall guys.
Weight?:	Healthy.
Style?:	Laid back.
Hot or Cute?:	Cute! Hot guys tend to suck.
Age?:	Older.
Drink?:	Not much.
Smoke?:	He does, a little.
Mucular or really skinny?:	LOL I could go either way.
Your Friends
Your best?:	I'm on high terms with a lot of friends.
Who do you treat best?:	Everyone!
Who treats you the best?:	Most friends.
Who's the funny one?:	Most of them are funny.
Smart one?:	Good question. ;)
Happy-go-lucky one?:	Derek! Kayla C.
Obsessed one?:	If I can consider her one, Andie. She gets obsessed easily.
Hyper one:	O_O
Normal one?:	Andrea.
Depressed one?:	ME! Sometimes Dan W. and Nick.
Wierd one?:	We're all mad, here.
Stupid one?:	><;
Worst one?:	They all have their moments.
Supportive one?:	They all are.
Happy one?:	Most tend to be.
Talkative one?:	A lot of them are.
Random Q's
Who was the last person to im you?:	It's been a while.
Call you?:	My dad.
Say Hi?:	Don't know.
Say Bye?:	Karen said good night.
Say I love you?:	Chris.
Do you belive in magic?:	No.
Do you love to excersize?:	I do.
To sleep?:	YES.
Do you like your name?:	No, not really.
Would you want to change it?:	No. It fits me too well.
When's the last time you cried?:	Ahhhhhh Thursday.
Why?:	I humiliated myself.
When's the last time you laughed?:	A few minutes ago.
Why?:	ECW thread on SA.
What country would you like to go to?:	France.
Where do you want to be right now?:	Showering.
Do you have a job?:	Yes.
Can you draw?:	Not much.
Can you swim?:	No.
Do you like to sing?:	Yes.
To dance?:	No.
Ever been to a club?:	No...?
Can you play an instrument?:	Yes.
Do you belive in God?:	I go back and forth.
If I were a....:
My heart is...:	a hotel. People are free to come and go as they please, but if it is violated, they are not allowed to return.
I wish...:	I wasn't so itchy.
I love...:	Chris.
My life...:	is pretty good right now.
4 Things That Scare Me
1:	Spiders
2:	Snuff films (in theory)
3:	Humanity
4:	The thought of losing my friends
4 Things That I love
1:	Chris
2:	My friends
3:	Sleep
4:	Food
4 Things I hate
1:	A certain someone that requested to be my friend lately. Asshole.
2
3:	Ha ha! There is no 2. Humanity.
4:	People who don't take the time to type correctly when they have the ability to do so.
4 People That Make Me Laugh
1:	Bil
2:	Kevums
3:	Chris
4:	Chris' Dad.
4 People that I Love
1:	Chris.
2:	Most
3:	Other
4:	People
4 Ways To Describe Me
1:	Intelligent
2:	Funny
3:	Caring
4:	Thoughtful/thoughtless
4 Things I want To Do Before I Die
1:	Have at least one child.
2:	Go to France.
3:	Work as a school social worker
4:	Touch as many lives as I can.
4 Things I Want People To Know About Me
1:	My heart policy from above.
2:	It's hard for me to accept compliments.
3:	I have low tolerance for stupidity.
4:	I like hugs.
4 Extra Things I want To Say
1:	I'm still fucking itchy.
2:	I really want to take a shower.
3:	Holy crap tomorrow's laundry day.
4:	I wanted to go to sleep an hour ago, damnit.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

More later,
~*The Pie

P.S.: I got a role upgrade in "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead". I'm now a Tragedian. :)

A new year.

New year, old comments.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2458658&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=453

My second appearance (so far as I know) in goons.jpg.

I'd love to know where the fascination about my nose comes in. I've seen much, much worse. Also, the whole mustache thing only comes into play when you look TERRIBLY closely.

And so it goes.

I'm just glad I don't have to use cheap tactics to feel better about myself. Sometimes, all I have to do is look around.

And to think, I fit into the whole "she has a nice personality" thing. I acknowledge the fact that I'm not about to win any beauty pageants, but at least I'm still pretty nice. The people around me tend to agree that I'm awesome. Well, at least to my face. =/

I think I just need a hug.

I'm getting the new laptop. It's a Dell Inspiron 1520. I couldn't get the red, heh. Chris said that if I was going to spend on myself, it should be something other than a laptop color.

A couple of friends of mine helped me figure out how to take the hard drive out of my old laptop so I could hook it up to the new one. It's actually really simple! I just had to get a hard drive enclosure in the right size and format. I take the hard drive out, put it in this thing, and use a USB connection. I'm actually excited about it. Ah, I'm pathetic. The enclosure I ordered should be coming in tomorrow. The laptop is coming in, so Dell says, January 24th.

My grades for the first semester are in!

Psychology 101: A-
French 201: A-
English 101: B+
Sociology 101: B+
Biology 103: C
Overall GPA: 3.2

I'm satisfied.

Oh! Before I go. My Christmas and New Year's celebrations were good.

More later,
~*The Pie

Happy December.

Hi kids! I was just in the mood to write. There's stuff on my mind.

For months, maybe half a year or so, my laptop had been picking up charge in a strange manner. When on AC power, I had the contrast set on its lowest. When on battery, it was just on its highest. The contrast would flicker, and I'd know that it was being weird. I'd adjust my power cord, and think little of it. Soon, it grew to be a more consistent problem, and I got a new cord. Nothing changed. Finally, and very recently, my laptop just stopped receiving charge. Today I took it in to get tested. It cost $60, just for a diagnostic. I'm almost afraid to hear what its problem is, and how much that'll cost. I have more important things to be spending my money on. =/ Thank God I'm working on Thursday. My dad suggested getting me a new one. It's hard, 'cause I'd love a new one, but the old one is just too close to my heart. There's just too much on it that I couldn't let go of. (See: music.) Also, the money should be going toward my tuition. I have plenty of access to computers.

I auditioned for 20 Cent Fiction's "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead", and boy oh boy, like I said, I messed up that audition like no one's business. Above all, I'm disappointed in myself for fubar'ing so bad. I can do better. Hopefully, in the future, I will do better. Still, Chris and I are getting our scripts tomorrow. He's pretty happy. He's Hamlet.

I have at 3 p.m. I'm feeling pretty good about it. It's sociology. I've done pretty well with that course.

At this moment, my spirits aren't too high, but I have to remember that there are plenty of people that have it worse than I do right now. I'm fortunate as hell.

Also, the whole Jamie Lynn Spears thing just makes me giggle.

More later,
~*The Pie

Crappy times.

Hi kids. Sorry for the lack of posting. You know the story.

Things have been a tad sucky lately.

Last week I was on the phone with my mom while at my friend Bil's house. As we were talking, I asked how my grandfather (my mom's dad) had been. I knew that he'd been having some heart troubles since late October. Things aren't looking so hot for him right now. All but one of his arteries are seriously clogged. He has two options, the last I knew. He could either continue on with his heart medication and he'd have a year or two left. Or, he could try getting open heart surgery. If he survives that, which is only a 50/50 chance, he'd have five or six more years. We also don't know right now whether the surgery would be paid for. He wants the surgery, because if he survives, he has plenty of time. If not, he doesn't suffer. I was in a separate room from everyone else at the time. As my mom was talking, I started to cry, but I was keeping pretty good control. Soon, I just started sobbing. I couldn't help it. I love my Grampa; he's an extraordinary man. I understand that he's in his mid eighties, and has led a great life, but I'm just not ready for him to go so suddenly. I just want my Grampa.

Oh fuck damnit all, Chris lost his keys. I'm already pretty overwhelmed, I don't want to deal with much more. I technically have a paper I should be writing. So on and so forth.

Fast forward to Thursday afternoon, I accidentally left my keys and flash drive in a computer in a computer lab on campus. (Not the main one.) I realized this during the evening. I go to the lab, it's locked. The next day, I go in there, and all that's left are my keys. No freaking flash drive. This flash drive has all of my writing from high school on it, and I really hate to think of what's happened to it. I'd almost rather not have my keys but have the flash drive. I'd gladly pay for my dorm and mail keys. I could get another set of house keys. But I can't get back four years of writing, plus additional stuff done outside of writing and high school. I've cried about it, been furious about it, and now I'm just left to my pitiful sulking.

(Chris found his keys, the lucky ass.)

I think today I lost my favorite purple fuzzy hat. I want to say it was a Chanukah gift. I think I lost it after French or Sociology. Checked by the rooms, nothing to be found. I can only hope that someone picked it up for me, or that I left it in the office that I hang out in. It's pretty much the warmest hat I own, also the one with the most character. Bil said it's the one I was wearing when we met. I just want it back. My head's cold, and I'm already sad.

I auditioned for the next 20 Cent Fiction show. We're doing "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead". I failed epically. I haven't auditioned for a real show in a WHILE. I was really nervous, I stuttered, and I lost my place in the monologue. Looking back, I don't even think I was that professional. I can only hope that some kind of good word was put in for me. I doubt it, though.

Going upstairs and crying quietly to myself sounds nice right now, but as per usual, I have to push on. I have a paper to bullshit through.

Happy Chanukah.

More later,
~*The Pie

The internet still thinks I'm ugly.

This isn't me whining. I've made my peace. I just wanted to showcase a few more instances.

I'm sorry if you find the content of some of these links disturbing and/or offending. This is not my work.

A drawing, a photoshop, and a whole bunch of posts (old).

So, the saga continues.

In my personal life, things are still going fine. Chris and I have been together for two years and five months. I'm nearing the end of my first semester in college. I'm working on scheduling my classes for next semester. Work is still entertaining.

I'm just never around.

More later,
~*The Pie

I went home.

Howdy kids! How's it goin'? Enjoying the weather? The weather was freakin' CRAPPY all day.

Nick and I went to CT today. We got out of the car at my house, and it looked even darker and gloomier than usual. It was great to see my dogger! I ♥ my dog. I missed her like crazy. She's just as stupid as ever. I picked up some stuff at my house, like another pillow, a bottom to one of my bathing suits, et cetera. My mom gave me a little gargoyle dude, for some reason. And $20. I proceeded to blow the money on a tub of honey shisha (flavored tobacco for a hookah), and Chinese food for Nick and me.

Nick got the lease to the apartment he's moving into in Connecticut in January. I'm pretty happy for him. We went out for the Chinese with a couple of his friends.

We made our way back home. We were listening to a Bruins game, and apparently one of their really good players is hella injured. I'm checking his condition as we speak. OK, he's in the hospital, and he has a concussion and broken nose. Thank God. The man is 22 years old. The way they were talking about him on the radio, it sounded like he was gonna be paralyzed somehow. I hope his recovery goes well.

I gave Chris and Dan another $20 so they could get coals for the hookah. They're out there now getting 'em.

Chris is planning on getting "The Orange Box", a boxed set of three amazing computer games. There's Half Life 2 (correct me on this, if I need to be, I'm not sure if that's the official, whole title), Team Fortress 2 which I REALLY wanna play, and of course, the amazing Portal. Portal is ridiculously cool and incredible. The concept is fresh, the graphics are pretty good, the game has a sense of humor. It's just a tad too short, from what I'm told. I don't see myself playing it, but I do enjoy watching it. Team Fortress 2 is an online war game thing, but it's very cartoony. The trailers, character profiles, which I can't seem to find now, are amazing and want to make me play.

I'mma play 2D Flash Portal and eat some pie. The guys took the wrong exit, ha ha.

IF YOU'RE IN THE AREA, COME SEE ROCKY HORROR AT UMASS DARTMOUTH ON OCT. 31st THROUGH NOV. 3!!! $7 GENERAL ADMISSION!

More later,
~*The Pie

A quick one (before she's away).

I don't know what a Johari window is. Just... try it.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=deathslushie This is to add to it.

http://kevan.org/johari?view=deathslushie This is to view it.

I finally got my huge check. =) Huzzah!

I bought Cooking Mama for the DS, and it is awesome.

I'm busy every night it seems, but I've really been enjoying it. =D

However, I miss my online friends like whoa. I always have something to do or somewhere to be that takes me away from them. =/

Ah well. I still love everyone.

More later,
~*The Pie