The internet thinks I'm ugly.

:smith:

At least it was posted on 4/20. ;)

This isn't the first time members of Something Awful have seen me as ugly. They tried photoshopping me. In all of their attempts, they basically butchered my face. What does that say about messing with (near) perfection? ;) (I'll get a link for you if I can.)

Goons see one or two pictures that are flawed, and automatically think you're ugly. They jump to conclusions almost as quickly as they'd pounce on a sale of Mountain Dew, Funyuns, and Cheetos. What the don't see is stuff like this.



These people that run it don't even post pictures of themselves, as far as I know, which I find to be completely unfair. What right do they have to make fun of someone (who probably doesn't even look bad, look at the other entries) when they don't even show what they look like? Goons are notoriously fat, neckbearded, and zitty. Clearly, I go against that standard. So why point me out?

Individual goons are really cool people, I've found. But collectively, goons are assholes.

I guess this is what I get for putting pictures of myself on the internet. But y'know why I do? Because I'm no longer afraid of how I look. Something else that the mass majority of goons doesn't know is that I suffer from depression, and it's taken me a LONG time to accept the way I look. (I'm not about to change it.) I can at least say that I'm comfortable with how I look.

It's just pathetic that people judge so easily these days. Goons talk to me, and find my online company enjoyable. *shrug* To me, and I wish this is how it was for more people, appearance means very little. What truly matters is personality. (I'm not trying to hide behind this.) Because it's been my experience that the best looking people tend to be assholes. Not always, but tend to be. So why bother with them?

I could go on and on. I want to make a thread to set the record straight, but then it'd look like me fishing for compliments, which isn't the case at all! I still don't know how to take a damn compliment! I want to put this post out there on a more grand scale, but unless it happens through word of mouth, it won't.

Know a person for something more than their face.

OK! Now that I'm done being angry (thanks lexapro!) I have a spot of good news! I got my housing information today! Finally! :D As it stands, I'm in Roberts 204B-2. I still don't have my roommate information, but that'll be coming along soon. I just need to call in on Monday and confirm that that's my room, and that I'll be moving in on August 26th.

Ha ha, I also finish out therapy next Friday. :) Looking forward to that.

Alright, I'm good for now. I'll update as my worthless news comes.

More later,
~*Pie

Do yourself a huge favor.

Try to get more than five damn hours of sleep a night.

I got to sleep just around three this morning. (After trying to go to sleep at two.) I'm up right now because Sam's grandmother told her that I'd be at breakfast this morning. (My mom and a bunch of her friends get together every once in a while and go out for a meal.) So if the cinnamon toast my mom raves about isn't the best damn food I've ever eaten, then I will be quite homicidal later today.

I say later, because when we get back home, I am SO going back to sleep. I'll be surprised if I don't fall asleep in my (or someone else's) toast.

In my last blog, I mentioned something about a new job on campus. It's at the conference center. I'm sure I'll just be scheduling peoples' appointments and calling people to have them make appointments. Whatever. It'll help bust me of my phone anxiety. It is confirmed, I believe, that I'm moving in on August 26th. I'm really excited about that. Unfortunately, I still haven't received my housing information from UMass, which is quite annoying. I think I'm going to e-mail them today, asking for an e-mail copy of my housing information. Even if they sent it out by snailmail today, it still wouldn't reach me 'til late next week. I get everything late from UMass because I'm in Connecticut. From other UMD freshman, I've heard that the housing department said they wouldn't send information out 'til next week, which gives me VERY little time to prepare. I don't think housing thought this through much. *shrug*

In other news, my mission to prepare myself for college continues. Yesterday I got a large bottle of tea tree oil castile soap. This thing could last me for two years as far as I'm concerned. I also got a hammock for storing crap. My dad has prepared a toolbox for me with some pliers 'n stuff. I got my electrical stuff too. I <3 power strips. Oh! My dad also gave me this bottle/can opener. It's awesome! It's small, too. :D

Yesterday, I drove my mom and grandfather out so I could get a pair of moccasins. My mom met a woman at a local festival who makes them. We thought I could get a pair custom made, so yesterday we just thought I was going to get my foot traced. As it would turn out, this woman had some pairs already made, and one fit me perfectly. They're also a dark brown, too. They're buffalo hide. Her work is pretty awesome, and of course, yay for the "little guy", so to speak. Check her website out here.

I'm still preparing, and have a lot to do, but I'm so ready for it. Right now, the biggest thing, I think, is going to be the couple of days I use for packing. I've never moved before, so I won't quite know how to do it, but I've been working on a checklist (almost inventory!) of my clothing that I'll be bringing. I gotta do socks and the like next, but that's harder to do. I have a lot. I still have hand-washables to go through, and I'm just forgetful, but I'd have to say it's looking good.

Going to breakfast now.

More later,
~*Pie

Summer's almost over.

I can't believe it.

Let me see if I can do this chronologically.

On my birthday, I traveled back home from Chris'. We stopped at Tim Horton's, which I must say is a small highlight. We got home and went out to dinner with my parents. We went to my favorite Japanese restaurant. :) Salmon sashimi and miso soup. Yum! On the way home, my tummy hurt, so when I got home, I just crawled into bed and chilled for a while. When I came down, my parents gave me my birthday presents, and we had pie. Naturally. I got a new alarm clock from my mom. I'm really happy about it. Now I can listen to a CD to fall asleep instead of having my computer play the music. For some reason, when I do that, the screen stays on all night, which I don't like. So, problem solved. My dad also gave me some money, The Who's "Endless Wire", and the DVD "The Kids Are Alright". Yay!

The following Sunday, I went to a Grad pool party for my friend Kaylyn. It was pretty chill. :) We hung out in the pool and talked about college. Later that day, Chris got me.

Tuesday, we went to Maine. Saco, to pick up Dan, and then to Portland. We walked around the city a bit. We went into a comic shop, a candy store, a wine and cigar shop, and a small adult shop. (The adult shop had incense that smelled like Ramune! Way too damn cool! I didn't get any, though.) Chris and Dan got tattoos! They got trees that hold a bowl of flames. It's supposed to represent a chalice. They came out really well! The tattoo artist was also very friendly.

I believe the guys made the appointment for four o'clock. Dan went first. Downstairs from the tattoo parlor, there's a hookah bar. I couldn't get in, though, because I didn't have a valid photo ID to verify that I'm 18. I was really upset. This was supposed to be one of the awesome things about turning 18. So I went back up to watch Dan get his tattoo and sulk while the others did stuff.

I think Dan and Derek came in while Chris was getting his tat done, or about to. They whispered to each other, and told me to stay put where I was.

Later, just when Chris' tattoo was being finished, he just about passed out. The tattoo artist asked me to run out and get him a candy bar. So I did, and Chris munched on it. His blood sugar was hella low.

After we were done at the parlor, my friends told me that they were going to try to buy a hookah. Before that, we got dinner at this place called Henry VIII's. Oh my word, they have roast beef sandwiches down to an art. All I had was a plain roast beef sandwich with some au jus, and it has to be one of the best sandwiches I've ever eaten. When we were done, we trekked about Portland, looking for a place that'd sell us a hookah. We found one on the edge of the city.

I gotta say, while we were walking back to the car, everyone but Kevin and I smoked cigars that they bought. It was a sight. A group of young adults, and by young I mean none of us older than 21, smoking cigars.

Back at the camp where Dan works, we tried the hookah out with some blackberry tobacco. It was so much fun! I felt like a dragon, blowing smoke out of my nose. The hookah's name is Mjolnir, like Thor's hammer. The different hoses have names of mythological creatures, except for one. It's named after a favorite adult of ours in the UU community.

We got back hella late, but it was fun. :)

Wednesday we saw The Cat Empire at Lupo's in Providence. They were awesome! They got everyone dancing. :D They didn't do much in terms of banter, which was a little unfortunate, but they're still incredible. I highly suggest checking them out. Their website is www.thecatempire.com

Fast forward to Friday. Got to therapy late. Chris left immediately. My mom hasn't seen the tattoo yet. :D

Saturday and Sunday I hung out with Abby and Sam. We saw "The Simpsons Movie", which was pretty funny. Then we slept over at Sam's. We tried to do s'mores over this little grill thing Sam bought. It worked for a little while, then the fire just kept dying. And I fell out of my chair.

I believe on Tuesday morning, I got a call from a woman at UMass. Back during orientation, I applied for jobs at the student center and events office. Well, I'm pretty sure the woman was calling from the events office, and I was one of the people chosen for a job there! :D I'm really excited. I'd get to move in a week early and use that week for training. It sounds way too cool. I'm not so sure about specifics just yet, though, but I'll be getting them by e-mail in the coming weeks.

Yesterday I went out. My mom, Abby, and I had something to take care of. Then Abby and I went to Payless, where holy crap I got new shoes. Lemme tell ya, I haven't bought new shoes since 8th or 9th grade. Not everyday shoes, at least. These things are hella spiffy. They be's here. I also got sheets! Here and here. Yay dorm sheets!

Other than all of this, I've just been laying around, melting. :) Oh! And waiting for housing information from UMass. What the hell, I wanna know who my roommate is, and where I'm rooming. As far as I can tell, all of we UMD 2011 students are anxious about it.

By the way, Jon is not a dork. I just wanted to let the internet know.

Alright, that should be good for now. :)

More later,
~*Pie

Not the evening I expected.

Last night, a bunch of us went up to see Reel Big Fish in Boston. Out of seven people, four got in.

I was one of the unlucky three.

Needless to say, I was upset. This was supposed to be my birthday present from Chris. I hardly ever get to go to concerts. I was stuck in Boston, right across from friggin' Fenway, missing a RBF concert and a Yankees game. (My family went to the Bronx yesterday to see 'em, and of course, the Yankees won.)

Last year, for my birthday, I went an hour away (or so) to see a friend whom I'd never met before in an outdoor Shakespeare performance.

It got rained out.

So instead I went to this fancy mall thing and got candy. =/

I felt so damn miserable that day. I didn't do ANYTHING that day except go out to see my friend, which got canceled without our knowing. (We got out there and then found that it was off for that night.)

That day just plain-up sucked. Thankfully, the rest of being this age hasn't been as bad as the year before.

Anyway.

So last night I couldn't help but think that this was two years in a row messed up for me.

Chris, Addie, and I, the ones who didn't get in, wandered around Boston for a short while. Chris tried scoring more tickets, but obviously failed. Addie and I just meandered, found a bathroom, and then found Chris again.

We decided we'd try to find Fire and Ice. For those of you not in the know, Fire and Ice is a really cool restaurant. They have stations set up where you get raw food and veggies, and then you get sauce. You go over to the huge... hell, I want to call it a griddle, to have your food cooked. It's all you can eat, too. At the table they give you tortillas, rice, and tortilla chips. The restaurant itself is supposed to have a funky, artistic feeling to it. I personally think they try to hard, but whatever.

After some deliberation, we wanted to go to the commons. We didn't get there. We all had to use the bathroom, but didn't know where we could. Somebody in a T station said we could try a couple of different places. We ended up in a really cool book store. I wish I'd had more money and time. So many good books! I found an updated version of Bullfinch's Mythology, and it was large. We had to leave, though.

On the ride back, when we were connecting from the green line to the red line, we met up with one of Chris' old UU friends. I hadn't seen this guy since February '06. He's really cool, and his girlfriend's pretty awesome too, so we got to ride back to the train station we parked at with them.

It was hella foggy last night, so the drive home was a little dicey. I told Chris that he was low on gas, and he said that we'd make it home.

Not on that tank of gas, we didn't. We petered out a couple of miles from our exit. A state cop, a cranky one at that, helped us along. As well as Kevin.

We got home around two a.m.

Here I am today, home alone until Chris' parents get back.

Tomorrow's my birthday.

More later,
~*The Pie

Ain't no cure for the summertime blues...

'Cept coming out to Massachusetts! :D

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a short while. Things have been going down.

I'm in MA right now. Chris is on the computer, playing WoW. I'm sitting here wondering if I should eat the piece of deep fried eggplant sitting in the Styrofoam container next to the keyboard. (We went out for Thai last night. ^^)

So... I'm trying to think. Lessee. Last Thursday, I threw up. I hardly ever do, thankfully. I have enough stomach problems for, I'd say, at least two people. I was a little shaky for the rest of the day, but still in high spirits. Friday I was well enough to travel to MA. :) I'm so thankful. We got here 'round 9 or something, and hung out 'til IHOP time. I do so love going to IHOP. I had coffee and a banana cheesecake chimichanga. Yum!

After IHOP we went to Kev's and hung out there for the night. I went to sleep ... hell... after five? And Derek wanted us up for 10. Well, we left after ten. (Chris was being slow, though.) Derek took us out to his tiny little town. We stopped at a Honey Dew for coffee. Now, I shouldn't be having coffee in the morning because it upsets my tummy too much, but I threw caution into the wind and had a frozen coffee. We went to a book fair, and I got six books for $7.50. Some of the books are the complete works of Poe, The Scarlet Letter (which for some reason I can't underline), a book of three Greek plays, and more.

Once we were satisfied with our findings, we stopped by a nice little grocery store in town and picked up some chocolate and walnuts. Back at Derek's, we had chocolate and walnut fondue. My stomach was too upset by then for me to enjoy a lot of it, but I still had some. I was happy.

We read, we had fondue, and just generally chilled out. Later, we went to Nick's. I read and took a nap while the guys played some craaaaazy long board game based on the works of H. P. Lovecraft. I went on the computer and rested. (My stomach was still somewhat angry.) It looked as though we might go to Kev's or Bil's, but Chris just wanted to go home. He had work at seven a.m. on Sunday.

I slept soundly until he came back home. Then we napped for a few hours.

Damnit, I'm too distracted. I'll edit this post or something.

More later,
~*Pie

Simple pleasures.

I enjoy a nice fresh towel. Preferably my fish towel. I love coming out of the shower to dry my face off with a clean towel. I don't quite like the idea after I've used it once already. I got to shower this evening and it felt marvelous to dry my face off.

I wish people'd slow down and enjoy simple things more. Really, I find myself more satisfied and amused (in my personal life) because I'm not shooting ridiculously high in this case. A good CD and untimed shower (I normally time myself, but now I don't have to.) is fantastic in itself, and to dry off with a fresh towel is all the better. Damn, I don't need an iPhone or a car to be happy. I don't need to keep with the latest trends. I don't constantly need new clothes. I'm damn fine with the bare necessities.

Speaking of shooting ridiculously high, though, I was in the local newspaper again today, as you can see to your upper left. I edited things so you crazy bastards won't stalk me. :) It doesn't list me as valedictorian. I think at the time that I filled out the information, I didn't know.

A nice segue. I has a link for y'all, a treat for sure. I do, however, suggest that you turn up the volume of your speakers. :) http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4662557844467951294
This is me giving my valedictory at graduation. I was one of two to graduate with high honors. I then proceeded to accidentally forget my diploma at the school where graduation was held. *sigh* Go me.

My birthday is this month! On the 20th! Woo! On the 18th I'm going to see Reel Big Fish and Less than Jake. On the 25th, I'm going to see The Cat Empire. (And in the future, on August 25th, I'm going to see The Aquabats!)

Ah summer, I do so love you.

Oh man! I got to see some of my extended family today. My dad's cousin and the cousin's aunt. They hadn't seen me in years, so it was strange for them, I guess to see me more than five feet tall and without braces. They were asking me about college and whatnot. Oh! Chris also got to see my Poppa's condo, finally. There are plenty of pictures of me from when I was little. Lots of baby fat, if you can believe it. That melted away right quick.

OK, so, my mind has wandered enough.

If you make any jokes about my name, I will find my own way to mock the hell out of you.

More later,
~*The Pie

A good way to start the day.

Howdy! It's been a week since I've updated, hasn't it? Sheez.

Well, first the main reason why I'm posting this. I do so enjoy making new friends first thing in the morning. It's when I can talk to my Australian friends. :D But really, to wake up to find a new message is fun. Really, there was more to this thought, originally, but I've forgotten. I'll take this time to plug my buddy Krymzen's blog! dimension-zer0.blogspot.com

Now! For all of the end-of-the-year stuff. Thursday was the only full day of finals I have. English and French. Pretty easy. I got an 89 on my French final. Strange for me, but I don't care. I pass. Friday I had my chem. II final, which was also fairly easy. Our teacher just gave us the exam that the city requires. Fine by me.

Tomorrow I have my creative writing "final". My real creative writing final was my senior thesis presentation. I got a 100 on it. I got a 95 on the paper. *claps dust off of hands* I'm pretty awesome. So tomorrow for the final, we're working on our graduation pieces. At graduation, every art department gets up and does something. Band kids play music, chorus sings, writers read poems, etc. We need to finish writing them, then we're gonna rehearse it. Somebody in the class suggested we do it by height, in which case I'd go last. Yay me at 5'3".

Tuesday I go in at 7:30 and come out at 9:30. Accounting final. It'll go by. I don't guarantee that I'll remember everything. I should bring the book home and skim.

After finals, we aren't required to go in. They aren't taking attendance, and we're encouraged to stay home. Wednesday, June 20th, is my two year anniversary with Chris. He can't come down. I'm staying home from school. Thursday I'm going in, but I have graduation rehearsal from 11:30 to 1:30. I'm gonna work on my 'zine and see if I can get that finished.

OK, y'know what? Lemme just put a schedule.

6/18/07 - Writing final from 9:30 to 11:30.
6/19/07 - Accounting final from 7:30 to 9:30.
6/20/07 - Two year anniversary with Chris. Staying home.
6/21/07 - Going in to work on 'zine, graduation rehearsal from 11:30 to 1:30. Graduation party at 6. Chris coming down.
6/22/07 - Graduation rehearsal 11:30 to 1:30.
6/23 or 6/24 - Chris leaves.
6/25/07 - Senior awards breakfast. (Gonna get my yearbook!)
6/26/07 - Graduation!
6/27/07 - Going back to MA with Chris.
6/28/07 to 6/29/07 - Orientation at UMass.
6/30/07 Graduation party.

I'm busy for a while. Things with Chris aren't entirely ironed out to me. I need to fix that.

So yeah. That's that.

Chris is probably going to record my valedictory using my digital video camera. We'll put it up on teh internets for everyone to see.

I'm gonna go swordfight or something.

More later,
~*The Pie

Youth convention.

Howdy!

I went to a Unitarian Universalist (www.uua.org, check it oot.) youth conference over the weekend, for the first time (in this district) in about a year and a half. I got to see old friends, make new ones, and memories were flying all around. New memories, too, such as me being "Witchy McGee". (Trust me, it's not as mean as it sounds.)

I want to write a poem about being curled up under a potted tree in a corner of a hallway. I thought it was a bodhi tree, but after trying to find pictures of one online, I'm gonna say that this was not a bodhi tree. Still... I'd call it one for the fact that I tried meditating under it.

I'm actually gonna go take a shower, then burn some incense. I may or may not meditate, I'm not sure. It's so hard to do! It's not like I do it for long. I just don't find my spiritual center very often, but when I do, I'm very peaceful. I'm just not religious, but I'm willing to try.

In college, I'm going to try to go to church more.

OK, I'm past my goal of showering at eight o'clock.

More later,
~*The Pie

Moving right along.

Howdy. Today I'm supposed to be looking like I'm working because we're having some visitors from different districts. *shrug* They'll probably want to talk to me 'cause I'm valley D. They'll probably ask me how I feel about my education here. *sniggle* What a crock.

I just wanna play games or something. Or talk with my two buddies back here. One is doing some math testing, the other is doing a performance in the library.

Last night I was grabbing myself a snack for today, when I saw muffins. I asked my mom what kind they were, and she said she thought they were apple. That sounded wonderful! Appley muffins are pleasant. Well, I took a bite out of it last period, and it turns out that it's carrot. =/ I like carrot muffins, don't get me wrong, but when I looked in to see a bunch of strips of orange, I was slightly disappointed.

Speaking of disappointment! I've been trying to load Yohoho Puzzle Pirates onto this computer, or just computers here in general, but I need an administrative password to load java. Without java, I can't run YPP. I've been addicted to this game for a couple of weeks. You're a pirate, and you do pirate-y things like bilge, carpent, sail, swordfight, and pillage. When you do all of this, though, you're playing puzzles! Like... bilging is a swapping game. (Swap pieces horizontally to make combinations of three or more.) Carpenting involves getting differently shaped pieces of wood to patch holes in the ship. So on and so fourth. It's free, too! (If I do it online, it's most likely free.) If you're interested, go to www.puzzlepirates.com and sign up. I live in Shackra on Sayer's Rock in the Hunter Ocean. ;)

In other news, I'm still upset about the state of one of my classes. It's a seniors honors class, but the kids still act like freshman. Hardly ANYONE in that class is ready for college. I'd say roughly a fourth is ready.

I forgot to spray my jeans this morning. I don't know why, but they've just been stinky since the last time I wore 'em to Chris'. They still fit OK, so I'm not giving up on 'em, but they smell. (They've been washed, too. I'm a slight freak about wearing fresh clothes.) I wanted to spray 'em with some spritz before I left the house today, but I didn't get the chance to. Oh well.

I wish I could check facebook in school. I know I can't, there's no good reason to, but I have e-mails from facebook that I want to check. *sigh*

I have a driving lesson after school. (Actually at 2. I get out at 2:15.) I have to make sure that everything's OK with that.

Need. Sleep. I don't even know what I'm doing next period.

At least I know I don't have homework tonight. We're gonna be watching "V for Vendetta" in English, and we're taking a trip tomorrow for chemistry that will go from 9:50 (I think) 'til the end of the day. I have an easy day tomorrow. I'm actually wondering whether I need to bring in my stuff! (I can weasel my way into doing some layout work for Mr. Banack.) Shoot... I think I'll just bring a sandwich tomorrow. If we go to the café, I can get a drink. Yep... just a sammich. Oh God, will I have anything to make one with?

Ha, I just finished my accounting project. :D I just gotta hand it in today and I'll goof off for the rest of the time. (Five class days.) Yeehaw.

Alright, I gotta get going. Let's hope I don't fall asleep in chem.

More later,
~*The Pie

Quickly, for I have been lazy.

Prom was fun, simply put. I didn't like the music selection, but that's natural. But it was fun to act like a complete moron in a dress. Guilty pleasure, perhaps? Like, I wanted to smack my face into a plate of butter. I almost fought Chris for a piece of bread. Silly things like that.

We went to a diner afterward. It was fun. I had jell-o. Chris and I sang. (Mostly Chris.) The waitress said it was like he earned his food. I'd say our waitress was pretty cool for talking to us. Then again, it was like, midnight. Business isn't terribly quick.

After, Chris and I brought two of my friends back to their houses. As it'd turn out, they live pretty close to each other, which I think is pretty cool. I love both of them to death, so I'm glad Chris and I could take them along.

My corsage problem was fixed. We got an emergency one. Unfortunately, the rose petals just kept on coming off. So sad. But at least there were rose petals all over the dance floor. :D

OK, I need to eat some breakfast. Prom pictures will be up whenever I get the camera developed, and the pictures scanned.

More later,
~*The Pie